Why did the kid study in the airplane?
Because he wanted a higher education!
Teacher: Name two pronouns?
Pupil: Who?, me?
Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
Pupil: At launch time!
Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!
Little Monster: I hate my teacher.
Mother Monster: Well then, just eat your salad!
Teacher: Does anyone know which month has 28 days ?
Pupil: All of them!
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams!
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
What do history teachers make when they want to get together?
Dates!
Diner: What's that fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Looks like the breast stroke!
What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
My pop is bigger than yours.
What's purple and 5000 miles long?
The grape wall of China.
What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The Food!
What is the richest kind of air?
A Millionaire.
What kind of horses go out after dark?
Nightmares.
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!
What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I'm dressing!
Why is it so hot after a ball game?
Because all the fans leave.
What object is king of the classroom?
The ruler!
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!
What kind of jokes do vegetables like best?
Corny Ones, of course!
How do you find a princess?
You follow the foot prince.
Why do male deer need braces?
Because they have buck teeth.
Which animal keeps the best time?
A Watch Dog.