Computer Jokes Page 3 of 3
Maybe our selection of funny computer jokes will get a laugh and brighten your day.
Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus.
There are three engineers in a car: an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work!"
Where do cool mice live?
In mouse pads.
Apparently, independent studies have discovered that the internet is an addictive agent which, they say, is just as powerful as drugs or alcohol.
However, researchers go on to say that the internet is actually much more dangerous than these addictive substances, since it is a terminal addiction.
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs and let them ask sensible changes." The genie replies, "Uh, let me see that map again."
A man and wife were both in an Internet business, but it was the husband who truly lived, ate and breathed computers.
His wife finally realized how bad it gotten when one day she was scratching his back, and he said "No, not there. Scroll down a little."
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach him to use the Internet, and he won't bother you for weeks!
A husband and wife incurred several problems while assembling their new computer system, so they called the Help Desk.
The man on the phone started to talk to the husband in computer jargon, which confused him even more. "Sir," the husband politely said, "please explain what I should do as if I were a four-year-old."
"Okay," the computer technician replied. "Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"
A child was watching his mother sift through and delete a long list of junk E-mail on the computer screen.
"This reminds me of the Lord's Prayer," the child said. "What do you mean?" the mother asked, "You know, that part about deliver us from E-mail."
