Political Jokes Page 6 of 6
Enyoy our collection of political jokes, they're very funny jokes about the people and politicians who run our government.
Four boys were fishing. As their boat rounded a point on the lake, they saw a man thrashing in the water.
With no hesitation, they jumped into the water and saved him. It was not until they pulled him to shore that they noticed the man they had saved was President Barack Obama, who had slipped away from the Secret Service for a swim.
When President Obama caught his breath, he thanked the boys and offered them anything they wanted in return for saving his life.
The first boy thought about it for a while and finally answered. "I would like a presidential appointment to West Point so I can serve my country."
The next two boys thought that was a great idea, but one said he had always wanted to be a pilot so he would rather attend the Air Force Academy. The third boy chose the Naval Academy.
The president turned to the fourth boy, who was still thinking. Finally he answered, "Mr. President, I would like a burial with honors at Arlington National Cemetery"
The president was shocked and asked the boy why he would make such a request at his young age.
The boy replied, "Because when my father finds out I saved you, he is going to kill me!"
The Clinton's and the Gores are traveling aboard Air Force One.
Bill Clinton looks out the window and says, "You know, I bet I could drop a $10,000 bill out the window and make one person very happy!"
Al Gore comments, "Yes, but I could drop ten $1000 bills out the window, and make ten people very happy."
Hillary Clinton says, "True, but I could drop one hundred $100 bills out the window, and make one hundred people very happy.
Chelsea says, "Big deal! I could drop all of you out the window, and make the whole country happy!"
Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere. She asks St. Peter why are there so many clocks here. St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one second.
St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life. The next clock belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since he only told two lies his whole life, only two seconds had clicked.
Hillary asks, "Where is Bill's clock?"
St. Peter says, "Bill's clock is upstairs in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them.
The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man.
"So you buried all the politicians?," asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"
To which the man replied, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."
Two friends are discussing politics on Election Day, each trying to no avail to convince the other to switch sides.
Finally, one says to the other: "Look, it's clear that we are unalterably opposed on every political issue. Our votes will surely cancel out. Why not save ourselves some time and both agree to not vote today?''
The other agrees enthusiastically and they part.
Shortly after that, a friend of the first one who had heard the conversation says, "That was a sporting offer you made.''
"Not really," says the second. "This is the third time I've done this today".
A woman went on a tour of the White House. As the guide led her down one of the historic halls, a door burst open and a large aquatic sea mammal, balancing a beach ball on its nose, scurried past.
"My, what was that?" exclaimed the woman.
"Oh, that's just the Presidential Seal," replied the guide.
A man walks up to the Marine guard at the White House front gate and asked to see President Clinton.
The guard says "Sorry sir but Clinton is no longer president."
The man comes back the next day and again approaches the same guard and asks to see President Clinton.
Again the guard says "Sir, Clinton is no longer president."
The man leaves but comes back the third day and again asked to see President Clinton.
The guard says "Sir...you have been here three days in a row asking to see President Clinton...and I have told you each time that Clinton is no longer president...what gives?"
The man says "I know... I just like hearing it."
