Marriage Jokes Page 6 of 6
More crazy jokes about marriage, get a good laugh reading our jokes about marriage, love, husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk-down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
Once at a formal dinner, a man was not observing all the rules of propriety according to another man's wife.
Flustered, she exclaimed, "If you were my husband I would give you poison to drink."
He replied, "Lady, if I were your husband, I would drink it."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said, "We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home.
She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."
A marriage counselor listened to a couple tell of their problems for a half an hour.
When they finished he said, "You both are over reacting to minor problems. My fifth wife always did the same thing."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge then to let him keep her.
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called."
"The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it."
Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people the same thing.
As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."
His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"
When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case almost impossible.
According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.
A little boy asked his father.
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
