College Jokes And Riddles
Have a few laughs with our collection of funny college jokes and riddles.
A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much does it cost?"
A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
How do you get an Ivy League college student off your porch?
A mother sees her daughter watching television and says, "Mary! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework! Why are you watching television?"
Mary replies, "It's okay, I haven't done my homework yet."
How do you make Ivy League school cookies?
A biology professor was teaching his class about the flow of blood in the body. After his lecture he asked the class, "Why is it that if I were to turn upside down, my face would turn red since the blood would flow to my head, but when I stand upright my feet don't turn red?"
A student in the back of the class responded, "that's cuz your feet ain't empty!".
How many Harvard men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
The Math professor jokingly asked the class clown, "Paul, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Paul came back with: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
How many Ivy League school freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
I read where the Japanese said that Americans are stupid, illiterate and lazy. I didn't really read it, I saw it on television. I was lying on the couch. I would have changed the channel, but I would have had to get up and walk all the way over to the TV, because my remote control is broken, and I don't know how to fix it
What's the difference between an Ivy League school football team and a box of cheerios?
There was a young man who was very bright. In fact he was bright enough to be accepted to Harvard. One of his first assignments at Harvard was to write a paper on a famous person. He wasn't sure who to write about; so he decided to go to the library and do some research. But he didn't know where the library was.
He saw a professor walking down the hall. He stopped the professor and asked him, "Do you know where the library is at?"
The professor looked at him strangely and said, "Young man, here at Harvard we never end a sentence with a preposition."
The young man replied, "Oh, excuse me professor. Do you know where the library is at, moron?"
What was the geometry student looking for at the beach?
