Funny Puns Page 1 of 3
What are puns? A play on words usually with a double meaning, some are really bad, but most will at least make you smile. On this page and the next 2 are some of the best puns.
1. When the cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
2. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic....it's syncing now!!
3. There was a rancher who owned a scattered herd of cattle, he told his friends that he had 100 head of cattle, he really only had 97, but then he rounded them up.
4. She was the bootlegger's daughter, but he loved her still.
5. When chemists die, they barium.
6. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
7. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
8. Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana.
9. I know a guy who says he's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
10. There once was a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control her pupils.
11. How does Moses make his tea. Hebrews it.
12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass'.
13. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
14. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."
15. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
16. A backward poet writes inverse.
17. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, I just can't put it down.
18. If you tried to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
19. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
20. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
21. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
22. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
23. PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
24. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
25. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations!
